<p>This article examines parental and family myths regarding children, with particular concentration on the child with severe developmental disabilities who may never be able to challenge their allocated identity. The case of ‘Ashley, pillow angel’ is discussed, alongside that of an Asian female child whose family created the myth that she was a boy to address cultural taboos that were preventing her father from being her principal carer. The use of myths of identity as solutions and problems in their own right is discussed. The article concludes that there is a need for professionals to question these myths.</p>